In moments of discomfort, our natural instinct is to seek change—to find relief from whatever is happening inside us, to escape, change, and control the present moment to feel in a way that’s familiar or pleasurable. Whether it’s physical or emotional pain, boredom, anxiety, stress, rejection, sadness, a sense of emotional unsafety, or a vague awareness of disconnection, these sensations drive us to act. And often, that action takes the form of reaching for something external—a substance, a distraction, or a behavior that promises to shift how we feel, even if only for a moment or a few.
The underlying need to change internal bodily states
Coffee to shake off the lethargy. A drink to dull the anxiety. Social media to fill the gaps in our attention. A look for a quick dose of validation to numb disconnection and loneliness. For some people, it’s the taste or feel of food; for others, the numbness, blurring, or excitement offered by alcohol, drugs, or consumerism. It’s not just substances or distractions we use to soothe ourselves. Even our own thoughts—rumination, worry, repeated checking, obsessing over the past, or projecting into the future—can become a form of escape. In a way, thought patterns themselves can be “consumed” as a way to disconnect from the present moment.
At its core, this drive to escape into distractions stems from the need to change an internal state that feels uncomfortable, unengaging, or unsafe. It arises from a profound discomfort, not only with emotions and thoughts, but also with the body’s physical sensations: the tightness in the chest and shallow breathing during anxiety, the sinking feeling in our stomachs during sadness, and the feel of hollow emptiness that boredom and lack of meaning bring.
In response, we seek ways to regulate these sensations, to shift out of the present discomfort and into a state that feels more bearable. However, the things we often turn to provide only fleeting relief. They may provide temporary regulation through numbing or shifting the focus of our bodies onto other uncomfortable states. However, they don’t resolve the deep-rooted underlying lack of harmony. In many cases, they exacerbate our discomfort over time and build unhealthy coping mechanims as habits. A glass of wine may calm the nerves for a moment, but when the effect wears off, the anxiety may return even stronger. Mindless consumption of information through social media may distract us, but it often leaves us feeling more restless and disconnected.
In other words, our distractive behaviours are bad solutions to legitimate problems. But maybe recognizing this pattern can help with conceiving a better solution. What all of these behaviors have in common is that they are attempts to shift both our mind and body away from the present. What other tools do we have to do this? Is there something we could consume or turn to that doesn’t have unhealthy side-effects or make us feel worse eventually? Alcohol, food, movies, social media updates and drugs clearly don’t fit this criteria, what remains then? Air? Wait, maybe it is air!
Breathing: An Unseen Solution
We consume air all the time. It’s not only good for us, but neccesary for life. Unlike most of the things we use to cope—things that require external inputs—breathing is internal, always available, and deeply connected to both our emotional and physical states. If eating healthier can make our bodies and minds feel better, can breathing differently do the same for us? Can a good dose of oxygen bring a better sense of calm than an unhealthy, distracting behaviour?
Breathing can be a powerful tool for calming the mind and regulating the body and nervous system. The feedback system of our bodies goes both ways. Stressful thoughts create stressful bodily reactions, but calming and positive bodily actions can also calm the mind. Quick changes in some parts of the bodily state also changes the state of the mind and other body parts quickly. This should not be surprising at all, because it is the exact underlying logic that a person using alcohol or drugs uses to escape uncomfortable thoughts.
When we slow down our breath, we send signals to the nervous system that it’s safe to relax. The heart rate slows, muscles release their tension, and the sense of panic or unease begins to dissipate. In this way, breath becomes a bridge between the mind and body, helping to shift not just thoughts but also physical sensations. Consider how instinctive this connection is. When startled or overwhelmed, the breath quickens. When calm, the breath is deep and steady. Our breath reflects our internal state, and by consciously changing it, we can influence that state in return.
What’s remarkable is that unlike substances or distractions, breathing works from the inside out. There’s no need to introduce anything external, no need to rely on an input from the external environment to shift how we feel. It’s the opposite of consumption. It’s a form of release, of allowing the body to reset itself by engaging with its most fundamental process.
Easier said than done?
It’s natural to be skeptical about something as simple as breathing being the answer to so many complex problems. At first glance, it almost sounds too good to be true. After all, if something so basic—something we do all day, every day—could really help, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? And if the solution were as straightforward as breathing, wouldn’t we live in a world free from the present addiction epidemic, chronic stress, and the countless distractions we turn to?
The truth is, while the concept itself may be simple, practicing it effectively isn’t easy. If it were easy, every person who’s ever heard of breathwork would already be using it to manage their emotions and reduce stress. But the reality is, incorporating breathing as a tool for self-regulation takes time, practice, and—perhaps most of all—trust.
Getting comfortable with the idea itself can take weeks, months, or even years. The idea of pausing in the middle of anxiety or stress to focus on something as subtle as your breath might feel scary, overwhelming, even counterintuitive. It is, in fact, in direct contrast to our programmed tendency to control and curb, to lok for the immediate yet temporary comfort we are familiar with. Breathing requires us to confront discomfort directly, which is no small task.
Breathwork therefore takes repeated effort, patience, and a willingness to sit with the discomfort that comes up. It’s not a magic solution, but it is a tool that, when practiced, can gradually transform the way we experience and respond to life’s challenges. Breathing allows us to meet discomfort not with avoidance, but with presence. To trust that we have within us a tool to regulate ourselves, to feel ok and safe. It may not be a solution to everything, but it’s a step toward finding balance and calm from within—a quiet but profound act of self-regulation that’s always within reach.